Who Am I?!

I have recently found myself asking this question more often than one would imagine. It is one of the weirdest things to go back and read my old posts and to think, "I said that?!" On the other hand I read some others and I still think the same thing that I did back in 2008! Crazy!
Besides the tendency that I have to over analyze certain things I find myself asking this question, because back then- in the 09's it seems like even though I was younger I knew who I was more.
When you get out into the real world, working and dealing with customers, coworkers and bosses things just seem instantly more... complicated. For a simple girl like myself this can be slightly overwhelming at times. I occasionally desperately want to go back to the times when who got elected into Alpha Phi's Executive council was my biggest problem. The responsibility of my life and getting things right weighs so heavily on me now a days. It's not that my life is stressful, or hard, demeaning or lonely. It's just that I feel like my life has passed me by so quickly. Part of me doesn't understand how I can hardly remember high school.
The hardest part of the real world is realizing how much destruction can happen to your life so quickly and how much of it you do to yourself. Working at enterprise has opened my eyes to many many walks of life. I see how quickly other peoples lives can be completely turned upside down. Most of the time I'm so grateful for everything that I have, but recently I've only been able to focus on the negatives. I spend half my time (maybe not half) worrying about what my life has in store for me. I used to be so excited! Now I feel like I'm getting to old and my life is just going to slip away and I'll be sitting in nursing home with no family and a shattered reputation. Is this crazy of me to think? Maybe... Can I stop my life from ending up that way? Absolutely. It just seems that if I want to change my life from ending up all alone I need to really do some soul searching and that just takes up a lot of time... and well I don't know that I'm ready for that.
This is probably a big delusional post, but I had to get it out of me. Thanks for reading!