SO this is the new year

In the spirit of resolutions, which i wholeheartedly believe in, I have decided to post mine on my blog! I'd just like to throw out there that I think people should have monthly, weekly and daily goals too, not just on new years! oh... and yearly goals too.
SOOOOO mine are:
1. to better manage my money
2. to stay fit and healthy... well become more fit and healthy, i've been slackin
3. to run the St. George marathon. I AM SERIOUS I AM GOING TO DO IT.
4. to get a 3.8 at least, this next semester
5. to perform to my very best at everything!
6. to maintain my constant and current happiness
7. to be a better listener and friend
SO those are my new years resolutions!!!yayyy! ps sorry i've been terrible about updating you.I know I know... I'm a terrible blogger and my journal would be severly disappointed.
So sometimes I feel really lame and like I waste a lot of time. Maybe another resolution should be to be more productive. I kinda just wish I had this hugeeee list of eveerything that i needed to do in my life and that I could go through, know exactly how to do it and to do it perfectly... but I doubt that'll ever happen.
PS it's new years ever and I'm not anywhere, it's snowing and cold out and I didn't even want to do anything so i didn't. BUT just so everyone knows I did get invited to three parties... so I'm not a social reject.
Also, I love being home, but I love school too and I just want to go back! Sometimes I think I have alter egos. Kady is totally different than tt and I'm not sure which one is better, or if either of them are better or if i'm even making any sense. and if you know both kady and tt then you get this weird combination that's maybe the real me. Not that tt or kady are fake, they're just different parts of me... I think tt is more sarcastic, sly and bold. Kady is more reserved obedient and somethin else. But most of the time I'm just me and don't even think about which name I belong to.
I'm not sure what else to update you on except that I worked a lot, had a most wonderful and amazing Christmas and have done lots of fun things with family and friends. I've gotten to know connor better and just love him to pieces (sorry you have to read this alicia) lol and have learned how much i love being dependent and independent. I've definitely become more lazy and I kind of hate it.I can't wait to be my more efficent self again.
I hope to continue to learn more about myself, and grow spiritually and in so many other ways in this upcoming new year. I'm glad for this new beginning but I think so many don't realize that everyday is a new beginning and I'm grateful for that too.
Alright, well it's almost 11 and no... I'm not watching the ball drop... I think it's kinda a silly thing. No idea why... but I'm tired and I'm gonna go to bed now! Happy New Year everyone- DO GREAT THINGS WITH IT!

I love you

So this morning I woke up and started thinking about love. I think it's sad that some people don't believe in it and that they use the word so sparingly. It's also a crying shame that we're all a little hesitant to use it. I mean aren't we all commanded to love each other? So why are we so afraid of it? I think what people are more afraid of is trusting. I think people are afraid of making themselves vulnerable... but does that mean that you have to trust someone completely before you love them? Can't you just simply love them? Maybe we're all so afraid of love because it's so undefined, it has so many meanings! It's a noun and a verb and just holy cow it's all ova the place!
I was also thinking about kissing. Someone once told me a kiss should only be used to show sincere affection, respect and admiration. And I'm not sure about the rest of you but I'm pretty sure that not all of my kisses fall under those requirements. And it makes me a little sad that I've let so many people kiss me, and I them, when I knew that they didn't feel that way. There are a lot of alterior motives for kissing people... which can be good or bad... depending on how you look at it. I know personally I've used "it's just fun!" "practice makes perfect?" "it's not the horniness... it's the lonelyness"(that comes from the Office.. and other sources ;) ) and a couple others that are not appropriate to share over the internet.
Anyways I'd just like to say that when I say I love you I MEAN IT! it may not be head over heels, shooting stars, take me on a magic carpet ride kinda love. It could be just as a friend, "i love hanging out with you!", or "you just make me happy" love. And if you ever need me to define my love for you, just ask :p. And if I've ever kissed you, sorry if it wasn't in the way it should have been. And if it was- you're lucky and one of few ;)

Best Friends!

“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.”
^ Someone really smart and wise said that.... but I'm not sure who.
Last night my bestest friend ever slept over! I was so happy that I was able to pick up Hannah at school and that we could have an ESB sleepover. Hannah is a great best friend. She's not one of those best friends that are especially needy or annoying, we don't have to talk every second of everyday and sometimes we go over a week without talking to each other, but I know she'll always be there for me. And I'll always be there for her! We've been best friends since we were 11, I still remember that we became friends at the schenectady planetarium. And we've gotten in some fights, but usually we fight, then don't talk for a couple days and then we're over it and we laugh about it from then on. And even though we're pretty much polar oppposites (well in some ways) it works. We've perfected the art of telling stories together, since we know all of each others and we sometimes exaggerate for the other person so they sound extra cool. We work well at parties together because of our perfected art of storytelling and it's almost to the point where were can be like "remember that time..." "YES!!!! Ahhh! that was so funny!" Which I understand may be obnoxious to other people, but really it's a talent. Hannah knows everything about me. No joke. I love my wittle hannah banana to pieces!
But I have so many awesome friends and i just love them all! I think together they all make up who i am. Like Kaily is my crazy fun "I JUST LOVE LIFE" side. Alicia is my responsible side. Chris is my sarcastic side. Connor... well he's kinda like me... but in boy form, and let me tell you, if i was a boy and if i was connor i'd be verrry cute! Does that make sense? lol k i'm kinda creepy. K well I'd love to chat more... but it's time to make christmas cookies!!! yay!!!

Same old Same old

Don't worry, my blog won't be complaining about how routine my life has become. Because really there's always a new suprise! It's more in reference to the fact that I'm back to typing... despite the popularity of my video. jk jk.
Anyways.... today was pretty much like every other day this week. I went to work. I went shopping afterwards and got my siblings presents! I think they're way cute! I hope they like them. Then I went to wal mart with my mom, I'm not sure exactly what we did, we were both so hungry and tired that it's all just a blur. When we got home we had this AMAZINGLY delicious chicken though... and a sweet potatoe!!! mmm. Then, of course came jeopardy, a shower and eventually law and order. And an interesting fact today is that my friend max's friend adam, who I don't know, randomly facebook requested me and then continued to talk to me for like... an hour. It was kinda bizarre. Usually I'm talking to connor at this point in time, but he's NOT HOME. sooooo I'm kind stuck blogging.
Tomorrow I go and pick up Hannah at school with her mom!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!! i haven't seen my bestest bestest ever friend in FOUR MONTHS! ahhhhh! I love hannahhhh! And although it will be potentially awkward driving all the way to boston with her mom I'll probably just sleep the whole way cause we're leaving at like SEVEN AM. you better appreciate this effort I'm making Hannah. PS sorry if I look ugly tomorrow... it's the lack of sleep. or straightened hair that will do it.
Umm other than that, not much else is new. I love being home. Shout out: i miss you connor! why do you all of the sudden have to have a social life? what's up with that?! mmm k. I think i'm going to head to bed. I love you little blog!

Super Special Awesome

You're an Inspiration!

I have so many people that inspire me. everday! A lot of times it's just when I see someone running on the side of the road or doing something nice, but tonight my inspiration is my mom. Yes. Mary Ellen. She's a saint. She's so patient and kind and understanding and she's my mom so I can do no wrong in her eyes. Okay, that's a lie she tells me when I'm tired and need to go to bed and stop being a brat. And she's completely honest with me. She likes to goof off and watch movies and sew. But tonight she has inspired me to do be the best person i can! I know that sounds tacky, but i'm over it. And really there's no reason to not be awesome. Especially when it's so easy for me... ahaha jk... I'm not cocky- promise.
In a summary of today I went to church in A1. Good times, old friends, and way older people then you'll see in a singles ward. Precious forbes's they're my current ward favorites, not that i have favorites. I love little Elle too, she's like three, and the cutest little girl I've ever seen. After church we came home and I kinda just drifted around my house eating various types of cookies. I gave my dad a tutorial on how to use facebook- which should be interesting. I almost took a nap, but just kind of laid in my bed comprehending it's vastness instead. It's way too big and therefore I need someone else in it... jk!... a little. I still love it though, even with just me in it. I started watching the newer peter pan- which is kinda cool! extremely... out there, but cool, but I had to stop when the sister missionaries came over for dinner. They were super sweet and it was cool to meet them. OH! big story of the day. I met elder barton- who went to SUU and used to be really good friends with Alicia, he was really nice too. I'm not up to expanding my vocabulary of descriptive words right now, so nice and cool will just have to do. Anyways they're cool and nice and then we went to this Stake Christmas Devotional but we had to leave asap because something in the plumbing of our house exploded... or died... or, it was just bad. All in all that was my day. I'm still in my church clothes... but they're comfy. so it's ok. That was not necessary information

Playing and Escapading

Well today was my first official full day at home. It's freezing here. And that's kind of the reason why I didn't go running in the am. BUT i did work out- so we're good. Except I kinda of ate a lot of lot of lot of chocolate today... anyways.
Today I went back to work, at abercrombie. The best place to work ever. K so all I did was stand at a cash register for four hours and goof around with my manager, but it was SO fun! I've decided I get this bizarre high from working in retail. I really love it! It gives me an excuse to be perfectly happy, because customers hate grumpy people, plus so many people get all sorts of mad when they go Christmas shopping so I try and get really excited about little things, like gift boxes, and even if I don't kick butt at making their day a little better I tried! Plus I love being so absolutely busy that I don't even know what to do with myself. I love it! The best part is that I can run around, be crazy busy, put my heart and soul into something, and I can come home and never think about it again.
I also got to see my dearest friend Chris. In something like his own words I am the "better and more virgin" version of him. I love Chris, he makes me laugh. Sometimes I doubt his genuine-ness, but he always pulls through... :). He's kinda like if he really cares about you he'll do anything for you and always keep his word, if he doesn't... he doesn't. I also love how completely honest he is with me, it's the funniest and best part of him. We once had a conversation about if we ever dated, if we would cheat on each other or not. Good times good times. As much as I love Chris (as a friend) I don't think I could ever have more than friendly feelings for him, I know WAY too much about him. Still, somehow, I see us being friends for a long time maybe for eternity... but we might get sick of each other by then. Either way he's possibly my favorite crombie friend.
Tonight was also the second annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party at my brothers house. It was fun, his old friend A.J. was there and so was Amanda (duh.. his girlfriend) along with a bunch of other people that I didn't really know. I got to play Wii for the first time- aka one of the most fun things evvvver! But I remembered why I love Utah so much- there's no pressure to drink! At least with the people I hang out with. Here, even with my family it felt awkward. Being around people that are drunk kinda makes you want to be drunk so you just... don't feel so incredibly SOBER and not fun. But I also remembered while I was driving home that I place myself in situations like that, and that I can remove myself when I want to and for some reason that made me feel better. That and the fact that I made the decision a long time ago that I'd never drink. And I draw some comfort from that.
So it's freezing here. So dear friend since you're the only that reads my blog regularly and since I haven't talked to you in days, please come here and help me stay warm! And... that's all I have to say.

A Solitary Moment

I'm Home!!!!! Yeah YEAH! It's like I never left. My room is exactly as I left it. It's like a perfectly preserved mummy... but in a non creepy or human way. I've already eaten way to many chocolates and carbs, watched a movie, took a nap and in general had the most perfect day. Can I just say how much i missed my parents! And I draw so much pleasure in taking up as much room as I want in my queen size bed!
Even after the dreadful night in Baltimore, with the rain, lack of pajamas, headache and my arthritis acting up, i told you... I'm 75; it was all worth to walk into my kitchen and get a ginormous hug from my mom. Riley and I sat on the couch together and watched the Santa Clause together and he's currently sleeping outside of my door. I've also decided that since I didn't bring my journal home I'll just have to blog every night- even if it's not important. So I'm apologizing in advance.
I wish Kaily and Alicia were here! It'd be SO much fun! Anyways... just thought that I'd throw that out there.
So since I've had a lot of time to myself lately, on airplanes, in airports, in the hilton garden inn in baltimore, and just chilling at home I've put a lot of care and thought into some things. Mostly just how many different crazy people are in the world. I've seen thousands of people in just 24 hours and I'll never see any of them again- probably. Then on my flight home, there was a girl that I went to high school... I didn't actually say hi because I couldn't remember her name or where I knew her from, but eventually I figured it out. Anyways it's just so strange that our world seems so big and then BAM! You see someone. someone you know! It's crazy!
And I've also been thinking about how much time we're given and how much time we waste. Like right now, this blog could be considered a total waste of time to some people, but it's important to me! I guess it just matters what we value. Like how some people play video games all the time; to me that is such a waste of time! But at the same time I'll sit here and talk to my friends for like 2 hours on the computer- shouldn't i be doing something else with my time? Probably... There are just some people out there that, as lame as the conversation may seem, make sitting there worth it.
Alright, I could go on forever. But I'm going to stop myself and try and go to bed at a decent hour so I can run in the morning! AH! i'm pumped! And scared- it's SO COLD here!
K. I'm done. I swear.

My Junk

I have a lot of junk. A lot of it is packed in my ginormous suitcase right now! BECAUSE I GO HOME TOMORROW!
I know being away from home for four months doesn't seem like a lot, but so much has happened since I've been gone! K well mostly just my little nephew emmett being born... or and my parents took out our pool :(. Other than that not much has happened, but stil it's the little things that I miss. I miss my mom telling me to pick up my shoes, to stop eating all the cookies, and to drive safe. I miss my dad laughing at my stupid jokes, asking me if i need anything and doing whatever he can to make my day. I miss Rileypants sleeping outside my door, scratching at the door, begging for food and just being his adorable precious doggy self! I miss hanging out and laughing with my sister. I miss making stupid puns and jokes with Randy and Amanda. And I miss Ben being the brother who does everything crazy with me! Unfortunately he won't be home, but I'll get to talk to him on Christmas and I can't wait!
I'm so excited to go back to abercrombie too! I CAN NOT EVEN SAY HOW EXCITED I AM! Marissa is like my best friend there... and also the store manager- can you say yeahhhh yeah!!!? Her and I usually just sit in the back and complain about the customers or run around on the floor trying to please the customers we hate. Occasionally we try and run around while sharing a pair of fuzzy little boy flip flops. And I know it sounds dumb, and there are so many other people with higher ambitions than me and best of luck to you with your high aspirations, but I want to be a manager for abercrombie! Not for my whole life, but just for a year or two while I get my masters and the fact that I work there everytime I go home will be so awesome when I apply to be an MIT (...manager in training). K i know that it sounds amazingly lame that I'm excited about that- but at least I have a plan! Like I know exactly what I'm going to do when I graduate college... kind of.
Oh, in my excitement to go home I almost forgot to say... I AM DONE WITH FALL SEMESTER 2008 booooyah! I'm not sure how I did, but I think ok, despite the whole 'I don't want my gallbladder!' thing. It feels amazing to be done. Last semester I feel like school was really easy and I didn't put in as much effort as I should have, and I still feel that way at little, but not as much. Every semester that I'm in school I want to do better. So you know what?! Next semester I'm going to kick some academic trash!
So I think junk can be a good thing. It's like another word for stuff. That's how I think of it... and stuff is like part of me; the stuff that comprises and makes me who i am. So I like my junk! I have my cedar city junk and my home junk. I love all my junk, i really do! And even the bad things in life, all the trials that we all get I love those too. And even if parts of them follow you around until the day that you die they make you so much stronger than you could ever be without them. Sometimes I just get so excited thinking about how amazing the Plan of Salvation is! K i know this is like a little Morm shout-out, but seriously whenever I think life is hard or I can't go on anymore I remember to have an eternal perspective. Even while every little decision I make for worse or for better matters I find so much joy in knowing that Heavenly Father has a plan made just for me! That makes me worry just a little bit less. And I know that He loves despite my massive amounts of junk. WHAT IS BETTER THAN THAT! I know that He loves me whether my junk is what to wear tomorrow or how to better be of service to people!
Well I think that's really all I have to say...except I love my little! Kaily! She's so amazing and so much fun. She reminds me that life is too short to be bored/boring. I've never met anyone who loves living every single day so much. She's just SO full of life! And she can make me laugh and the stupidest things. Like today I was eating an apple and because I apparently eat it funny she said it looked like Hiroshima. K I realize that that SHOULD NOT BE FUNNY! because the a bomb is a serious thing, but it made me laugh so hard! Kaily is not afraid to speak her mind, no matter what anyone thinks and I admire that.
And I can't forget Alicia. She's the steady constant friend in my life that I have to have. She's always always always there when I need her. She's just so funny too! Sometimes I think I'll pee my pants- and that'd just be awkward for everrrryone!Alicia always does the right thing, but not in a "i do everything perfectly way!" she's so humble! She also has an amazingly good judge of character, and is right about all my relationships haha.
Speaking of relationships... not that I'm in one, or really want to be... I'd just like to say I've recently noticed my age.Does that sound weird? Yeah? Oh well. K but hear me out! I'm nineteen. I am not 25. I LOVE being 19! I have so much I can do with my life, not that you can't when you're 25, but I'm doing exactly what a 19 year old is expected to be doing. There is something about that that just makes me SO HAPPY! maybe it's just the amazing hot chocolate Alicia got me, but everything seems so amazing. Thank you to everyone in my life that makes it so much fun!

A Reunion!

So this weekend I went on a super awesome road trip with Kaily and Alicia. Good times! We ate more junk food than I've eaten all semester and danced and drove and laughed. Kaily also decided that we should record all of our jokes from the car ride, and I was made the scribe. Anyways! The intention of this visit was to go see my friend Connor who I hadn't seen since I was literally like 9! And let me tell you, it was so much fun! We met at temple square and walked around and saw the lights, went in the Joseph Smith building which is so beautiful. Then we ran like a bajillion miles, ok it wasn't even a block , to catch the trax. We talked the whole time on the train/ trax thing and caught up on each other's lives and family etc.. then his gay but straight friend picked us up and we went to his show. And sine it cost $12 to get in, in cash and since i only had my credit card I had to go on this hunt to find an atm or someplace where they'd give me cash back. Eventually I found a grocery store and made it back just in time for the show! Which was actually really good! I saw his older and younger sister Natacha and Nina and it was so strange! But awesome, I didn't realize how much I missed his family! We went to go see some lighted village and then went back to his house and ate olive garden and cheesecake! I really don't like cheesecake, well I thought i didn't, but this was from the cheesecake factory and like raspberry or something and totally delicious! It was really rich though and I couldn't even finish it, which is saying something for me cause i love anything with sugar and fat. Anyways connor and I went on a walk, played in the leaves and caught up on each other's most embarrasing moments. It's now Tuesday... by the way and I go home ON THURSDAY!!!!! oh i'm so excited!!! Basically I'm so super happy. I have Christmas lights in my room and really what could be better. Ps I apologize for the choppy blog.

Thanksgiving

So I just got home. I was up in Orem with my dear dear friend Rachel. I'm so lucky, she adopted me for thanksgiving. I slept on her floor, ate her food, and basically was her shadow (in a non annoying way). I had a lovely lazy thanksgiving. I didn't have to cook, wash dishes, or anything really. I watched four movies in on day. I ate more pecan pie than I ever have in my life. I went shopping on black friday. I met basically Rachel's whole family.And when all that has already been said was done, Rachel and I threw blankets over ourselves and pretended to be Afghani people. Is that horribly racist? maybe so.But we were laughing so hard we didn't even care. Over all on the scale of thanksgiving-ness i'd rate this break at an 8.5. While it was occasionally awkward for me, and I missed my own family more than any massive amount of words could ever describe it was lots of fun. Timian was our ride home and it was fun to go home with her. We all laughed and talked about how dumb boys are. I also missed alicia a lot... she's in Maryland visiting her family (yes I am insanely jealous). It's a little weird being home again. Part of me feels so ready to be done with Cedar, but I have to go through devil finals first. please kill me. not really. I just want to go home already. k That's all I feel like blogging...mmmkbye.

72

72 is a terrible number, especially when it's your grade on your last geology test. Really though, who likes 72? No one is every like "gee whiz! I can't wait until I'm 72!" And as far as grades go I should have gotten nothing below an 80. I studied for that test for eight hours. EIGHT hours. I've never studied for anything so much in my whole life, not even the ACT's. In fact, I studied for maybe an hour for the ACT's and here I am in college! I guess that's not saying a whole lot, espcially because of that stupid 72. I swear I'm not dumb either, that's what I first thought when I got my test. I thought "man I am so stupid. I studied forever and only got a 72. What's wrong with me!?" but then I had to start the positive self talk- you're not stupid, and you just need to study more. It's really hard to positive self-talk yourself sometimes though. Like today. It was hard. I have to remember that hey I might not be great at everything, but at least I'm good at some things! Like I got an A+ on my last art theory test and an A- on my painting. While those things may not require as much knowledge of geology, it's more of a talent and I guess that's ok too. I just wish I could be good at all things academics. I've never really cared about being good at sports, although I have recently fallen in love with football (well only when I'm drugged...) I just wish I could be smart. I wish that thing came easily to me, that I didn't have to ask lots of questions in class, that I could remember everything I learn and not doubt myself! But seeing as there is opposition in all things, if I never got a bad grade, maybe I wouldn't feel any drive to get better ones. This post is kinda depressing, but in a happy way, but I apologize if it's depressing anyone. Really though it shouldn't! Even though I got a 72 (which by the way is a super terrible number in general) I want to work even harder to get a better grade for the final, I want to bust my butt and so that when he grades my last test he'll be like "Oh Snap!" and maybe, just maybe, i'll get an 82, or better (82 is much better than 72).

I've Had a Revelation!

Ahahaha Law and Order. But anyways! I really have had a revelation! Not really, but I want to go to graduate school!!!!! I realize that I'm not even a sophmore, and I may want to never go back to school once I'm done with my undergrad's... but I doubt it. I LOVE SCHOOL so much! I love learning! But in response to my question of whether or not I should leave SUU I decided that I'm going to stay here for Undergrad and for my graduate work I want to go to either: Syracuse University, Columbia, NYU or possibly St. Rose but probably not because that's just a little bit too close to home. I really want to go back to ma roots though in the north east! I'd love to go to NYU because I love the city! but Syracuse is a good choice too because they're nationally well known for their communications masters program with Newhouse. Oh the future is just so exciting! Ah!

In the Wild

Alicia and I
On our Grand Adventure to Alicia's cabin, which is not really a cabin and is in fact a very nice house in the middle of nowhere utah, I thought about a lot of things.
First. Parts of utah are actually really pretty and look like they could be in Lord of the Rings. I swear it looked like Scotland!
Second. I kept thinking about Christmas. I love it so much. There are probably few people out there that understand my true love of Christmas. I don't even know why I love it so much. John hates it because he thinks people becoming really fake nice over Christmas and then mean again after it's done. But you know what I don't care if they're just fake nice for Christmas, at least they're nice for a little while! And maybe just maybe some people will realize how nice it is to be nice and then they'll keep being nice the whole year round! Plus everything just becomes beautiful at Christmas, I love Christmas lights. I love wrapping paper, ribbons, hot chocolate, playing the ornament game with my family, an orange in my stocking, other people thinking about other people and not themselves, reading the story of Christ and feeling closer to him. Christmas reminds me that there is so much in this world besides me. That I can serve others and maybe make a difference... maybe. Christmas is just amazing. Plus I get to go home and see my family, which the more I'm away from them the more I INSANELY miss them. They're so awesome and hilarious and fun.
Third. I thought about how everyone knows everyone. I also discussed this with Alicia. We talked about the 7 degress of separation and I swear it's true! If you know seven people, who know seven people etc... you know the world! This proved itself later today when my mom called me and told me a missionary back home went to SUU. Turns out Alicia and this missionary were like really good friends her first year here! How crazy is that! Also this missionary had a crush on Alicia's good friend Katie who is dating someone that also served in NY. BIZZARE-O!
Fourth. Sometimes it's hard to choose between two right things. Everyone says there's a right and wrong way to do something, but what if there's two right ways? K I'll give my example. I love SUU, I love alpha phi, and my life here, but I miss my life at home a lot too. Should I transfer to RISD or syracause, a just a better known art school? Or should I stay here where I'm happy? Do i risk my happiness?
Fifth. I'm going to miss Alicia a lot. She can't moveeee! I can't talk about that. Really though, her and I can not even say anything and sit in complete silence and I feel totally comfortable, or we can gab and gab and gab and I feel totally comfortable too. She's a great and irreplaceable friend... hopefully I'll never have to replace her.
Sixth. I have an amazingly good life and really no right to complain about everything, so when I do complain please remind me that I shouldn't.

The College Experience

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Soooo I'm sitting on the couch in between my two favorite people in Cedar City. Shout out: alicia and john/chistery! Anyways, I had to mention them since I experience most of my favorite college experiences with them. Mostly we just hang out and don't do our homework, but besides beer pong what else is there to the college experience? Nothing.
Sometimes I wonder how some people do it- like how they balance college and having a social life and getting good grades. I pretty much such at the whole balancing act thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm great at a lot of things, like texting really fast, making comparisons between between relations and Earth's layers and being a dinosaur. Having my gallbladder out slightly impacted my ability to do well in school, I hate catching up on things, I'd rather just stay caught up. Falling behind is the pits. That reminds me of the time my institute last year said that sinning was the pits... or something like that. It was really funny- who says that? you're the pits!
So tomorrow I'm getting married to Jonathon Pyne. I met him today. Don't worry it's not for realz. I'm not that Utah brain washed yet. It's for the Sigma Chi Italian wedding and for my costume-ish thing I'm going to wear a pillowcase. yeah it's gonna be the bomb.com K
I think i've been hanging out with alicia too much, she's says that all the time... Although, there's no such thing as too much alicia. I've also been informed that I need to write a paragraph about her. Alicia is beautiful, blonde, smart and funny. She's rescued me from near death in the middle of the night and is always there to listen to me. She knows how to be a good friend and great big sister. She's kinda weird, but only at appropriate times lol. I love her... but not in a "i support Prop. 8" kinda way.
I'm totally avoiding rewriting my paper. I'm so dumb, I already wrote it, I just need to fix some of it and here I am avoiding it like a little kid avoids vegetables. In my avoidance I would just like to say that I miss my family a lot. I can NOT wait to go home for Christmas, my family are my all time best friends and every time we get together we just laugh so much we can hardly breathe. I didn't spend nearly enough time with them this summer and I really regret it. I know when I go home for Christmas I'll just work a ton and not get to see them a lot either, but I'm for sure going to make it a priority.
Cedar is freezing and I hate it. I hate the cold and need to move to someplace that's warm all the time... or get a car. Neither of those are an option though since I'm so poor... so if anyone who reads this wants to donate money, just let me know ;)
In my conclusion on the college experience, i love college. i miss home. i love my family both in cedar and in new york. mmmk.

Everything but the Usual Updates

So I realized how 100% percent terrible I am at keeping a blog. Sorry to anyone, who I assume is no one that reads this.
Anyways let's do a quick update on my life aiight?!
I love love love school. I love learning, I love my major. I love my art classes the most, which is probably because that's my major.
I love living with Alicia and Ashley and am slowly growing to like my other roommates, who originally scared the schnikes outta me! Cedar also had the best weather until this week... and now it's cold and rainy, but it reminds me of NY so it's okay. No one really cares about the weather though, except my mom. oh Mary Ellen.
Speaking of my mom I had to have my gallbladder out, almost two weeks ago, and my mom came out to help me recover. She is the best person in the whole world and I love her so so so so much! It was so fun to spend time with her and it was so hard when she had to leave. I'm still not totally sure why I'm in cedar, but I know I am supposed to be here. Having my mom here made me miss my family even more than I already do though. I am super SUPER excited to go home for Christmas. Especially since I'll get to meet my adorable, precious nephew Emmett for the first time! And attend Randy's second annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party and help pick out the tree and go back to work at abercrombie! I miss it there sometimes too! Now my best friend who worked there is store manager, so it's going to for sure kick butttt!
I've also got a little sister in my sorority, her name is Kaily, she's from Chicago and adorable and I love her! Her alicia and I all get along so well! Plus my best friend out here John. He's a crazy democrat who hates sororities, but he loves us. He is currently up in Salt Lake calling swing state voters and telling them to vote for Obama. I told you he was crazy. And despite my lack of caring about this election or for politics at all, we're still best friends.
I also dated the supposed love of my life who just got back from his mission in August... we dated for about a month before I didn't have feelings for him except as a friend. It was frustrating for both of us, and now I've sorta lost him as a friend, but some things he said and did don't even make me want to be his friend anymore, but I hate when people hate me. So I really hope he doesn't, since I never meant to hurt him and still care about him.
My older brother Ben is on his mission and I got my first letter from him on Nov. 1st and was SO excited. I love and miss him so much and I'm so happy he's out serving (in Colorado to be specific). He is an awesome person, when he wants to be, and I hope he's learning a lot and is doing well, I love writing to him. I love getting letters back too, it sounds like he is doing super well.
That's about it that's going on in my life. It's pretty boring. I have a lot a lot a lot of catching up on schoolwork from my surgery, which I should be doing right now, but I'm not, and after I write this I'll probably take a nap, then write the 3 page paper I need to do by 9am tomorrow. It's all good.
Oh wait! I forgot I have two callings at church. I love getting to know people in my ward and all the girls I've gotten to know are so so so sweet. I'm so grateful for my calings, even if they are kinda time consuming. Alright, well that's all I can think of. And I'm getting sleepy. I'll try and update more often, but we'll see how that goes. peace out.

Home Away From Home

Today has been my first full day back in cedar city. I very much so miss my home and my now ex boyfriend and my family a lot. I've been doing my best to keep busy in order not to miss them so much. In addition I got to see a dear old friend who just came back from his mission.
The thing that has taken up the most of my time has been the endless flow of laundry. Due to water damage in the basement I've had to rewash a lot of clothes, which is a real shame because I washed them before I left for home in the spring!Ugh my life is so hard... k... not really.
Other than buying my books, doing my laundry and watching part of the incredibles not much else has been hip hop happening, but I'll be sure and keep you posted. I apologize for the short length of this post, but hey... I just don't got a lot to say. Much love.

Growing Old & Underwear

Congratulations to my Grandpa today- he turned 90!!! I love him and my Grandma to death and they are the cutest couple anyone will ever see.
I'm barely nineteen and I feel insanely old. Even though I'm still young I feel I've learned a lot of life lessons already. Like don't hit your brother, going to class is a good idea and when in doubt do what your mom tells you. Still in all I know I have a lot more to learn.I've never had to go through the lesson of losing someone... I've been so lucky to never lose anyone I truly deeply care and love. I consider that one of my greatest blessings. Although my dog died when i was 13 and we'd had him since I was two, I don't think I went to school for appx. 3 days afterwards... but anyways I've never lost a person. I've never even been to a funeral. I hope my Grandparents stick around as long as they can because they are an inspiration and remind me that there are good people in this world.

So tonight I went to my laundry to grab a pair of shorts and along with my shorts fell a pair of recently purchased underwear. I don't know about you but I think people go through phases in their life... At least I do. And I think your underwear expresses your phases and moods pretty accurately. Like when I'm in a comfy mood, I wear comfy underwear.. you know the "old favorites." and when I'm in a pretty mood I try and match my underwear to what I'm wearing. I used to not care about my underwear but recently I've gotten into it... it's my new obsession and collection. I particularly like ones with polka dots and/or stripes. I love wild underwear... not for when I feel wild, but because even when people look at you and think you're a boring person you know that they can't see your underwear, but man, you're hardcore.